For the Newbies, the Slickson movie review is an every Friday column that gives you a cinema guide on which movies to watch and not watch!

Synopsis: A Romantic comedy about a slobby tomboy (Ufuoma McDermott) who has a string of ill-luck after being transformed to a “Lady” by her mischievous flat mates (Mary Lazarus, Izzie Otaigbe) just a few days to Christmas. She unintentionally falls in love quickly and has to deal with its immediate consequences. (Written by FilmHouse Cinemas)

Starring:  Ufuoma McDermota, Sola Sobowale, Chioma Akpotha, Zack Orji, Deyemi Okanlanwon, Mary Lazarus, Gregory Ojefua, Michael Okon.

Verdict: Abundantly stupid. And excessively annoying. ‘Christmas is Coming’ is weaponized boredom; designed to drive you crazy with anguish and frustration. And it will. This counterfeit comedy is an instrument of torture. It will have you literally tearing your hair out as you sink helplessly into restlessness. This will do your health no good.

You will fall asleep in anger, and wake up angrier when you find out it’s still playing. Because, at approximately a hundred minutes long, ‘Christmas is Coming’ boasts a rate of failure that is truly genre defining. A bonafide stack of misses; the only bite of true laughter it has to offer is buried somewhere in its last eight minutes.

Literally, we only heard the audience laugh once throughout the screening. And when it was done, every single person we were privileged to speak to agreed- “It was sorely boring”. To put it most precisely; ‘Christmas is Coming’ is monumental filth that ought to be avoided. At all cost! It tells a ridiculous story, in a horrendous way. And while at it, it parades a concentrated blend of terrible acting and lackluster performances.

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Fiercely not recommended! Not even if it’s free. This Friday is “Black” enough already.